Baby Vanellope
by Peanut Butter Rules
Summary: Vanellope has been turned into a baby! (anime lover's request) [I own nothing] {4/6 chapters}
1. Intro

**Hiya! **

**I want to thank Cute Girl, Brover 9000, mew mew, anime lover, SuperSonicFan64, Ryan Stoppable, and D Mysterious for reviewing to my story Outcast. I luv you all!**

**This is Anime Lover's request:**

_**I don't usealy put a request, but I heard you do humerus story's so I thought you mite like this one. What if Vanellope turns into a baby and Ralph have to take care of her until she turn back to I said I don't usealy put a request so what ever you want to do.**_

**I don't plan for this story to be very long... six chapters at most. :)**

**To D Mysterious and Cute Girl: I don't know if you'll ever read this or not but I look forward to reading D Mysterious' continuation of Cute Girl's story. PM me the link! :) **

**To Cute Girl: Even though you asked me to continue your story first, I probably won't do it since D Mysterious plans on doing so. I can't wait to read the story! :)**

**...**

* * *

Sour Bill knocked on Ralph's door with a small bundle in his green arms.

Ralph opened the door and looked surprised to see the sour ball staring up at him. "Hey, Sourpuss, what's up?"

"My name is Sour Bill, not Sou- oh never mind. Listen, big guy, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

Sour Bill sighed. "I know that I am Vanellope's supervisor and it's my responsibility to take care of her, but ever since I had to take over _her_ responsibilities as well, it's been _really_ hectic-"

Ralph interrupted him. "What? Why? What happened to Vanellope?"

"She-"

"Is it something bad?"

"Well, I wouldn't-"

"Is she hurt?"

"No-"

"Did she eat wasabi candy again?"

"No. Well, yes, but that's not the-"

"Did Turbo come back?-"

Sour Bill kicked Ralph's leg. "Would you let me finish?! Jeez." he sighed, clearly aggravated. "And no, Turbo did not come back-"

"So what happened-"

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"

Ralph, surprised by Sour Bill's shout, stumbled. He had never heard the small candy shout before. It was kind of cute.

The green ball continued talking, "Anyways, as I was saying she-"

"She crashed her car into the palace didn't she-"

"RAALPH!"

The big guy smirked. "Sorry, continue please."

Sour Bill sighed in defeat and muttered under his breathe, "You idiot, perhaps it's better that I just show you instead." The green ball held out his arms and uncovered the bundle in his arms. There wrapped in blankets was a small black-haired girl.

"Is that -"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"She's a baby?"

"Yes."

"So it's really her?"

"Yes."

"Did the wasabi candy do this?"

"Yes- I mean, no. No."

"What happened?"

"Some idiots snuck into the code room and fiddled around. We caught them but not soon enough. This is the result..." He held up the sleeping Vanellope in his arms.

Ralph facepalmed. "Please don't tell me that you expect me to take care of her in your stead."

"Er... well, yeah... for five days or until we can fix the damage."

"No." Ralph was just about to turn around when the little girl woke up. She squeaked out a yawn and opened her wide, hazel eyes. She looked around until her eyes landed on Ralph. As much as he tried to glance away, he just couldn't. She was just too adorable.

Sour Bill mentally snickered. "Come on, Ralph. It's just for five days. And you can't resist this adorable face."

Ralph shut his eyes and turned his head away from the girl. "I know what you're trying to do and I'm not falling for it. You can't make me do it."

"I'm not making you do anything."

Even though Ralph's eyes were closed he could feel Vanellope's stare on him.

...

...

...

"Ah, okay." He swiped the girl from Sour Bill's arms. She was smaller than his hand and he had to be careful not too squish her flat. "How bad can five days be?"

"Then it's settled. I just need you to sign here." The green ball took out some documents and a pen.

"What's this?"

"This document states that you will have custody over Vanellope for five days, starting tomorrow."

"Um, okay." Ralph quickly signed with his messy signature and handed the papers back. He shut the door and went inside the house.

Setting her the couch Felix had made for him, he tickled her. She giggled uncontrollably.

"How bad can you be?" he asked her, unaware of the terrible torture he was going to face for the next five days.

* * *

**No, Ralph is not going to face actual physical torture. :) This is going to be a humorous story. **

**Feel free to give me requests for this story or a completely new story. :)**

**Review! *hint hint***


	2. Diaper Time

**Hiya!**

**I want to thank stewartsente69, cute girl, Stargazer-Aika, meme, Citrusella Flugpucker II, iNatsuBlueCyan789, Agent BM, book worm , sakura-kinimo , SuperSonicFan64, and DMysterious for reviewing! I love you guys! This is the most reviews I've ever had for one chapter. 11!**

**Thank you Citrusella Flugpucker II, meme, Stargazer-Aika, cute girl, and stewartsente69 for leaving requests! I promise to do all of them. Just give me some time to do so... :)**

**Heads up to all you guys: I only update on Sundays. Just a heads up...**

**Oh, and I have decided to make a game out of my stories. In each chapter, I have hidden a single random smiley face (not in the author's notes). For this chapter, I made it easy for you. Let's see if you can find it. :)**

**This chapter contains meme's request: **

_meme:Make Ralph like a daddy to make vanellope call him daddy and say I'm gonna wreck it in a litle baby voice._

**...**

* * *

It was well past midnight and the night sky was still as dark as ever. Ralph was having a wonderful dream of cake and goodies. It seems that he had just finished a hard day at work and he was being rewarded by Felix and the others with food. :) **(random smiley face)**

Suddenly, his dream disappeared with a _poof_ as he heard something from the spare room.

"Waaah! Waaaaaah!"

Ralph, recognizing who it was, grumpily got up from his giant bed. He muttered under his breathe, "Stupid baby. Stupid Sourpuss. Stupid code room. Stupid hackers. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

He yanked opened the door and drawled over to Vanellope's makeshift crib. She had tear tracks running down her cheeks and her face was flushed. She had stopped crying for a second, only to look at who had picked her up, before she started crying again.

Ralph sighed. He really regretted signing Sour Bill's stupid contract. "What do you want, you - what is that smell?! Is that you?" He leaned his head closer to the crying baby and sniffed. Recoiling quickly, he brought the baby as far as his arms could carry her. "Oh my gods, it is you."

Baby Vanellope kept on crying.

"What do I do with you? I've never took care of a baby before!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Vanellope's crying had reduced to mere whimpers. Ralph rushed to the door, holding his nose with one free hand, and opened it. There in front of him was something he never wanted to see again.

A furious, sleep deprived, grumpy Fix-it-Felix was standing right in front of him. His face was flushed and there were large bags under his eyes. The little man still had his pajamas on and one slipper. His brown hair was messed up. "What in the hammer is going on here?!"

Ralph held the baby to Felix's face, who recoiled and turned a greenish color. "Eww! Get that away from me! Where on earth did you get a _baby_ from? Are you the father? Where's the mother? Who is she?-"

"Calm down, Felix. This is Vanellope."

The smaller man stumbled back a step. "Her? What?-"

"Long story. Listen, just help me out here. I have no idea what to do!" Ralph wailed.

"What makes you think I know?" Felix yelled.

"Because you know everything!" Ralph yelled back.

"I only know things because I listen to stupid human gossip!"

"So what stuff did you hear?"

"Well, I heard from this one sister who had to take care of her younger sister that if a baby starts to cry, it either means that it's hungry or that you have to change its..." Felix paused, "diaper..."

It went silent, which was a huge contrast to the yelling they had been doing for the last several minutes.

Ralph was the first to break the silence. "What?"

Felix took a breathe. "You've got to change her..."

"Diaper," they both said in unison.

The smaller man shook his head rigorously. "No, there is noooo way I'm doing this for you, Ralph."

"But my hands are sooo big."

"No. I don't care. You're doing it yourself. Good bye and good luck, now."

"Can you at least guide me?"

"No."

"Oh, come on, Felix. You owe me. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have met Calhoun."

"Oh no, you are not bringing my wife into this."

"If I hadn't runaway, you two would never have gotten married. Admit it, Felix, you owe me big time."

"No I don't. I built you a nice house."

Ralph sighed. He had no choice but to throw down his last card. "Please... We're brothers..."

Felix sighed probably aching to throw a fist at Ralph's face.

"Fine," Felix said, "But you are doing all the work. There is no way I'm touching that... _thing_."

* * *

**(I won't go into much detail on this part because I really don't want to go into detail on poop)**

During the diaper incident, Ralph had been the one to change the diaper. Taking one look at the stinky diaper in his hand, he panicked and smashed it to the ground. "**I'm gonna **_**wreck it!**" _ He had cried out, splattering poop _everywhere._

Of course, he apologized sincerely. Felix said nothing. The smaller man just fixed the diaper table and left, muttering that he was going to go home and take a long, thorough shower.

Finally, Ralph went back to bed... after he cleaned up.

* * *

Poor Ralph had to take care of the mess Vanellope had made in his living room. She jumped on everything. Surprisingly, she could still glitch everywhere even though she was still a baby.

"Wheeeee!" Vanellope cried as she jumped from the couch to the table to the television set to the counter to the ground, and then back on the couch again, knocking over everything in her path.

Ralph tried to catch her but the small girl always bounced out of his reach. "Come back here, you little bugger."

"Wheeee!" she replied as she bounced off his face.

"Ooof."

"Whee!"

"Get back here!"

"Wheee!" She jumped on top of the chandelier. "Wheeee - whoah!" The little girl wobbled, attempting to get her balance back on the chandelier she was on, but failed and fell down.

"Vanellope!" Ralph dove with his arms out to catch her, crashing into the table in the process. His hands were cupped to catch her but nothing landed into them. He looked up just in time to see Vanellope glitch to the safety of the couch. She giggled at the broken table.

Ralph brushed himself off. "Look at what you made me do..."

Vanellope jumped off the couch. "Wheeeee!" She ran down the hall.

"Oh no you don't, Get back here before you make a mess in my other rooms!" He ran after but had to stop for a second to catch his breathe. "Man, I'm really out of shape," he gasped.

Breaking back into a jog, he looked for Vanellope. He had to look in every room but he still couldn't find her. _How could loose a baby? _He had lost many pencils, pens, papers, and other small things during his time, but loosing something as big as a baby was ridiculous.

Suddenly, he heard a yawn from the room to his left. He yanked opened the door expecting that a tornado had gone through his room. His expectations were correct. Looking to his right, he noticed little Vanellope curled up into a ball. Her eyes were shut and she had a peaceful expression on his face. She looked exactly like she had looked when Sour Bill had brought her in. _That adorable face..._ He picked her up with one hand. _She must have tired herself out. _It was tougher than he thought it was to take care of her.

Vanellope turned over in her sleep. "I'm gonnaa wreck-it," she muttered in her sleep.

Ralph almost dropped her. That was... that.. was... so ... adorable. He could - almost - forgive her for the mess. _It's going to take an army to take of her._

* * *

**Cute, huh...**

**Don't forget to leave requests! This story depends and relies on requests!**

**Review! *hint hint***


	3. Cute Girl

**Hiya!**

**I want to thank Agent BM, cute girl , meme , animelover , Vanellope , geekygirl247 , cute girl , SuperSonicFan64 , brover 9000 , mew mew , Stargazer-Aika , cute girl , and Marylover69 for reviewing. :)**

**I have some questions to answer now...**

**To Franci the Witch: I plan on doing your request at the end... Is that okay or do you want me to do it earlier?**

**To cute girl: I don't usually like OC's but I'll do Ralph's mother for you since you've been a huge supporter. Thanks!**

**To Stargazer-Aika: Vanellope is maybe older than one but les than five... I don't really know how old she is... :)**

_You will be reading these requests today:_

_Stargazer-Aika: More! I love the obliviousness of Ralph about his situation with cute baby Vallelope. Oh, is he gonna take her with him to Bad-Anon? Imagine, baby Vallelope surrounded by big bad game characters all melting at her adorableness. That would be funny to read. __

_cute girl :awesome. I could you make it wear Ralph has to wear a pink baby sling to Cary baby Vanellope around._

_meme: Could you please do it wear Ralph carries Vanellope around and all the girls from other games go nut for her and thinks Vanellope is so cute._

**If I haven't done your request yet, BE PATIENT...**

**...**

**without further ado...**

* * *

Ralph walked around Game Central blushing. Around his body was a pink sling. And inside the sling was Baby Vanellope playing with a large teddy bear, courtesy of one of the NiceLanders. Ralph, of course, didn't want the sling, but Vanellope had insisted unmercifully that he put her inside it.

He had woken up really early thanks to Vanellope's energy filled body. After he was up, Vanellope wouldn't let him fall back asleep. She had pointed outside the window, indicating that she wanted to go outside. Whenever he refused, she would fall into a tantrum and hold a grudge like there was no tomorrow. Ralph, eventually put on the sling, practically shoved her in it, and walked outside.

Currently, around him was a crowd of adoring fans. No, they weren't fans of Ralph himself, but of the little girl he was carrying.

"She so cute!" One girl screamed at the top of her lungs. "I just want to gobble her up!" She tickled the baby under the chin and smiled, showing off her teeth, which had been sharpened to look like shark's teeth.

Ralph cringed. "I'd rather that you not do that. Thank you very much." He pulled Vanellope, who had reached her hand out to touch one of the sharp teeth, away. As big and intimidating as he was, he still struggled to find his way through the growing, adoring crowd.

"OMG! That baby's so cute!"

The said baby giggled.

"Double OMG! That was adorable!"

Ralph grumbled as the two year old waved her teddy bear around wildly, the ends of the bear slapping Ralph in the face. "Cut it out." She, of course, didn't listen. It seems that even though she was a different age and Ralph towered over her, she still didn't listen to him.

"She's adorable!"

"What a cute little thing."

"She's so delightful."

"She's so sweet!"

"She..."

"She..."

"She..."

Finally Ralph couldn't take it anymore. "ENOUGH!" he yelled, causing everyone around him to sup their hands over their ears.

It went silent...

... until Vanellope laughed, setting the whole crowd off."

Another person screamed, "That's so adorable!"

Ralph scolded Vanellope, who just looked up innocently at him. "Thanks a lot, Candy Girl. Now how am I going to get _anywhere_ with you tagging along?"

* * *

"What's with the baby, Ralph?"

"Is she yours?"

"She doesn't look like you..."

"Who's the mother? - Wait, you're not even married!"

Ralph had to hold Vanellope high above his head, out of the reaches of the other game characters at Bad-Anon. "Everyone, please calm down," he called.

"Can I hold the little guy?" asked one of the ghosts of Pac-Man.

"She's a _girl!_ not a _guy!_" Ralph replied back. "And you can't even hold her. You've got no hands!"

"So, I'll hold him - her - with my - uhhhh - mouth."

Ralph held Vanellope closer. "No way!"

"C-c-c-ca I o-o-old eer?" A zombie asked. With his jaw not fully attached to his head, he struggled to speak.

Ralph looked puzzled for a moment. "Did you say, 'Can I hold her?'" The zombie nodded. The bigger man looked at the other's bloodied body and limp arms. "I'm going to have to say _no. _Sorry. I don't want her to get dirty with all the blood and gore and.. stuff"

The zombie, clearly insulted, huffed, stood up, and walked out the door. No one really paid him any mind though. They were all gathered around the baby.

"Nice pink sling, Ralph. It's very _manly,_" Browser chuckled. "I think I may have lost all of my respect for you."

"Oh shut up." Ralph was about to punch the giant turtle creature, but had to rein in Vanellope who had somehow escaped her sling and started smacking the Pac man ghosts with her teddy bear as if they were colorful drums. The ghosts' eyes were rolling around dizzily.

A wrestler shoved himself right in front of the crowd. "She's so adorable!" he squealed in a deep voice. Vanellope's response was to bonk the "scary" man on the head with her toy.

"She doesn't seem to like you very much," somebody remarked to the wrestler.

Ralph sighed. He seriously regretted coming here. But what else could he do? If he stayed in the house, Vanellope would've drove him past insanity. If he stayed in his game _Fix it Felix,_ the Nice Landers would've kept giving him baby advice, which was something he _really_ didn't want at the moment or any moment in his life.

Ralph tried to tune everyone out as they crowded around him and the "cute" baby.

"She's so precious!"

"Her eyes are so big!"

"She looks like a cupcake!"

"I want to keep her. Can I have her?"

Ralph said, sarcastically. "Sure. You can have her. She's a little devil and smells like poo."

Sombody else interrupted Ralph. "No, I want her."

"Well, I said it first."

"So. I want her more."

"You're too late. I called it first."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

Ralph facpalmed.

"Did too."

"Did n-"

Finally Ralph couldn't take it anymore. "ENOUGH, YOU WEIRDOS!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Everyone froze, even little Vanellope, who stopped hitting everyone and surprisingly didn't cry. "Jeez. I'm really sick of you guys now" The big man practically shoved Vanellope into the "manly" sling and walked out the door.

Little Vanellope turned her head around and looked at the still-shocked-crowd. She raised a hand and waved. "Bye bye, weirdos," she said in her tiny voice. She used the last word from Ralph's shout just a moment ago.

The "bad guys" turned to look at each other before squealing in delight. "That was sooooo cute!"

* * *

**You gotta love her Good-Bye's. This was just a chapter of fluffy fluff fluff.**

**Baby Vanellope wants you to Review and leave Requests. The requests don't even have to be for this story. :)**


	4. Ralph's Mom

**Hiya!**

**I want to thank Larxillyan The Glitch Nobody , Stargazer-Aika , cereal146 , JustThatChick XD , cute girl , the imperfect mortal , animelover , Marylover69, mew mew , me me , Kellen , geekygirl247 , and Vanellope for reviewing! You guys are AWEOSME!**

_Here are the requests this chapter is going to cover:_

_animelover :Funny. can you do the next chapter when Vanellope dirties all of her clothes and Ralph dressed her in his old baby clothes and looks just like him in the clothes,but only cuter_

_Vanellope :cute and can you do the next chapter wear Ralph is taking a shower and baby Vanellope cries and Ralph gets so worry about her that he gets ever thing on accept a shirt. and runs out the shower wet and cold. And after he calm her down he trys to put on a shirt, but every time he leaves the room Vanellope cries._

_cute girl :Make Ralph's mom come over and see little baby Vanellope and think that it is Ralph's child and then Ralph tells her that it is Vanellope, but his mom doesn't care because Ralph never had any kids and she has never met Vanellope so it was the closes thing to a grandchild she ever she plays with Vanellope, but Ralph gets mad because she is being so good with his mom, but not with him. And his mom spoils Vanellope, but when Ralph was a kid he never got spoiled._

_cute girl :And have Ralph sing her a lullaby so she can go to sleep._

_geekygirl247 _

_I can't believe how cute it is I just love it I can't wait for Ralph's mom to come over it's just gonna be so cute. :D_

**Now let's see if you guys can find the hidden smiley face I put in this chapter.**

**...MORE FLUFF!...**

* * *

Ralph groaned. Vanellope had refused to sleep all night. And when he _finally_ got her to sleep, it was already past 2:00 AM. He had only received less than six hours of sleep. Stretching, he walked like a zombie to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

He stripped and stepped into the shower, almost slipping on Vanellope's pink rubber ducks under his feet. It look at him with its two large blue eyes. "What are you looking at?" he asked the duck before kicking it away. He let the water wake him up. He lathered, rinsed, and repeated.

Suddenly, he heard, through the sound of the water, a sound.

"WAAAHH!"

He mentally groaned; the baby was crying once again. He ran out of the shower, pulled on his clothes, and ran out the door. The wet, soapy feet, leaving marks everywhere. He practically shoved the door to Vanellope's room open. "Hey, kid, you alright?"

Vanellope sat on the bed crying. He put his hands underneath her armpits and lifted her up. "What's wrong with you?" He pulled her closer to his giant head then recoiled. "Someone made _another_ poo poo." He sighed; she had kept him up all night because of this same reason. "You sure poop a lot for a little girl."

She just continued crying, her salty tears running down her cheeks.

"Okay, jeez. Stop crying, already."

**AN: skipping diaper changing part because...**

When he was done changing her diaper, he smiled at his handiwork. The diaper wasn't perfect but he was getting better. After all, practice makes perfect. Though, it was kinda sad that he had to do it soooo many times. He sighed and put her back on her bed. "Now go to sleep."

She smiled in content.

Ralph scowled at her. "I'm going to go and put on a shirt now." He had just realized that he was half naked. He had been too worried to bother putting on a shirt when he had first heard her cry.

The moment, however, he stepped out of the room, Vanellope started crying again.

He walked back into the room and rocked her until she closed her eyes. Then he tucked her in again.

The minute his foot left the room again, she started crying all over again.

"What do you want?" Ralph asked desperately. The minute he stepped back into the room she stopped crying. "Huh," Ralph said, now just realizing something.

He put one foot _out_ of the room.

She started crying.

He put one foot _into_ the room.

She stopped crying.

He put one foot _out_ of the room again.

She started crying again.

He put one foot _into_ the room again.

She stopped crying again.

Then he smiled. _ He put his left foot in..._

_He put his left foot out..._

_He put his left in..._

_And then he shook it all about._

_He did the hokey pokey and he turned himself around..._

_That's what it's all about! _He threw his arms in the air.

Vanellope just glared at him. For a second, she had looked like the old Vanellope that he had always known. Her tears were still streaming out of her eyes.

Ralph sighed for the thousandth time that day. He groaned, "Fine, I guess I'll just have to give you a bath now since we're expecting company today." He picked her up and placed her on her favorite spot. His head.

Walking back to the bathroom, he filled up a tub. He raised his hands to take off her clothes but stopped. She was a _girl_ and he was a _boy_. He wasn't suppose to be looking at her... private parts. Imagine what the real Vanellope would do if she found out... He shook the thought out of his head.

After a moment he finally decided that he was NOT going to look. He would divert his eyes as best as he could. He tilted his head towards the ceiling and took off Vanellope's clothes. It was pretty hard since he was staring mostly at the ceiling instead of at the baby. Then he placed her in the water. While she was playing with her bath toys, he shoved on his shirt. He squirted a bunch of shampoo on his hand and smothered/aplied generously to Vanellope's greasy hair. She didn't protest as she played with her toy rubber duck and her toy ship. He was about to rinse off the soap when a stream of water suddenly splashed his face.

"What the-"

Another splash. Vanellope giggled as she continued to splash Ralph, making bubbles fly everywhere.

"Stop that!"

Another splash.

"Stop that right now!"

Another splash.

Then Ralph smiled evilly. "You want to play? You're on!" With one giant hand, he created a minnie tsunami. Vanellope laughed as the wave crashed over her. Water spilled over the tub, but neither of them noticed, they were to busy splashing each other.

"Hey, watch this." Then Ralph cupped his hands, making a circle shape and dipped them into the water. When he picked them up, a thin layer covered over the top of the circle like a drum. He brought his hands up to his lips and blew in the center.

Vanellope titled her head in confusion. Her expression morphed into one of wonder when she saw a bubble emerge and float away. She jumped and tried to hold it in her hands. "Whoooa..." But it popped the minute it touched her skin. "awww..."

Ralph laughed. "That's okay, I can make another one." He repeated the process. The baby girl jumped up and down as she was soon surrounded by bubbles and an out-of-breathe Ralph.

After what seemed like time had gone by too fast, Ralph finally decided to get Vanellope into her clothing. He paused before he could pick her up out of the water. _He didn't have any girly clothes she could wear. _

He thought fast before rushing out of the room and into the atic, leaving a confused Vanellope behind. Not that she was very confused for long. She was too busy playing with her toys.

**Time skip.**

And there Vanellope stood. Ralph looked pleased with the clothes he had found. "You look almost like a boy, kid."

She was dressed in Ralph's baby clothes. She was in bright red overalls with a blue shirt underneath. Her feet were bare but had socks to cover them. Even though they were _baby_ clothes, they were extremely huge on Vanellope. Her flushed cheeks only made her that much cuter.

"You look kind of cute. I should take a picture of this." He quickly grabbed a camera and took a picture. "Imagine what everyone would say if they saw you like this." :)

The older Vanellope would've scoffed at Ralph's incompetence, but the baby Vanellope just giggled.

* * *

"Oh, jeez. Not again!" Ralph wailed as he entered the kitchen. It was a disasterous mess. The fridge was hanging open, the stove had a huge dent on the top if it, and the sink was flooding. Everything that had once been on the counter and in the cabinets were now on the floor. Jellies and jam were smeared across the tiles like they were paint. Food was scattered everywhere.

"I just _gave_ you a bath!" To find Vanellope, all he had to do was follow the dirty footprints leading to the opposite side of the kitchen. "You've could have said that you were hungry before - sigh..." Ralph picked the baby, who was giving him giant puppy eyes, off the floor and in front of him at arms length. Her hair was covered and jam and if he didn't know any better, he would've mistaken her for a boy. His giant hands seemed to cover the food-covered girl like a blanket. "I've got to clean you _and_ this mess up. My mother's coming and I don't want her to see this-" He shuddered as a memory flashed in his mind.

_He remembered when his mother would chase him around the house threatening him with a ladle that she would beat him if he didn't clean his bedroom. She had always been a controlling clean freak. If you even spilled a single grain on the floor, she would scream her head off._

The current Ralph shook the memory out of his head. "Out of all the memories in the world, the programmers just_ had_ to program me with that one," he groaned under his breathe. "Anyways, I think I should clean-"

_Ding dong._

"RALPH! I'M HOME!" A female voice called from the front door.

_Uh oh. _Ralph looked at the mess in the kitchen to the front door then to the dirty baby in his arms. He closed the fridge, put a pot on the stove to hide the dent, turned off the water gushing from the sink, and dumped Vanellope in the already flooded sink.

"RALPH! OPEN THE DOOR, IT'S YOUR MOM!"

"Just a second, Mom," Ralph called back, shoving the mess on the floor to one side as best as he could, getting himself dirty in the process.

"I'M COMING IN!"

Ralph ran to the front door just in time to stop the door with his foot from opening any more than a crack. "Uh, hi, Mom."

"Hi, sweety. Aren't you going to let your mother in?" Ralph's mother was just as big as Ralph, only slightly taller then him. She was dressed in a pretty, pink dress with a purse that looked extremely small compared to her giant hands. Her feet, unlike Ralph's bare ones, were in pink high heels that were somehow managing to hold up her weight. Her brunette hair framed her heart-shaped face in curls. Her face looked as if she had stuffed her face in a makeup kit. Her lipstick was so intense that you could probably see it from miles away and her eyeliner made her look like she had a black eye.

Wincing at her image, Ralph spoke sheepishly, "Actually, Mom, today isn't a very good time."

"Why?"

"Er. It's just a bad time right now."

His mother eyed him, looking at his flushed face, before smiling and laughing. "Oh, I see."

"You do?" Ralph asked, uncertainly. Whatever his mother was thinking of now couldn't be any worse than what was actually going on.

"Yes, of course I do."

"Really? What is it then?"

His mother wiggled her eyebrows and winked. "The birds and the bees," was all she said.

Ralph was puzzled for a second before her comment suddenly came to clarity. "What?!"

"Are you and your gal finally making me some grandbabies? I've been waiting for more than fifty years. You better be making me some grandbabies. Every mother, like myself, wants grandbabies. I've been waiting too long Ralphie."

Ralph went all red. "No, Mom, you're - "

"Is she cute?"

"Mom, you've got it all wrong! We are so not on the same page here."

"Really? Then what are you and your gal doing?" His mother was growing impatient.

Ralph took a deep breathe before replying. "1) I'm not doing _that_. 2) I don't have a 'gal.' 3) I'm busy-"

"If you're not busy making me some grandchildren," his mother sighed disappointedly before barging into Ralph's household, "then there's nothing stopping me from coming in."

"Wait, Mom-" Ralph cried. But it was too late; his mother was already in the house.

Moment she saw his footprints on the floor leading up to the door from the kitchen, her shoulders started to shake in anger. "Ralph," she said, trying to hold back her anger. "You have five minutes to clean this mess up before I-" While Ralph was cringing and hurriedly trying to scrub out the footprints in the carpet, the jelly leading up to the kitchen caught his mother's eye. Before he could stop her, she had already ran to the kitchen.

"Wait, Mom. Don't go in the-" He ran after her. He stopped at the kitchen door, afraid to see what was facing him beyond it. Finally he sighed. _Might as well get this over with._ He pushed the door open.

Instead of finding a furious mother shaking in anger from the mess, he found something he had not expected.

His mother had scooped up Vanellope's dirty body and held her at arms length. "He's ADORABLE! You've never told me you that you already made me a grandson!"

"Actually, Mom. That a girl and she's not my-"

"If she's a girl, why is she where boy's clothing? She looks just like you."

"I didn't have any more clothes so those are my baby clothes-

"Where's his -I mean, her- mother?"

"Mom-"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Mom-"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is that I finally have a granddaughter!"

"Mom!"

"Yes?"

"That baby in your hand is NOT related to me in any way possible." She's-"

"Did you adopt her?"

"No... well sorta. For a week-"

"Well, if you adopted her then she's now part of the family!"

"Mom!" Ralph roared. "That's President Vanellope Von Scheetz!"

His mother stopped talking for a second. "What?"

Ralph sighed, "That baby girl in your hand is President Vanellope from Sugar Rush."

She examined the baby up and down. Vanellope had gotten even dirtier and was licking jelly off of her hands before she glanced at the person holding her. "Clown!" she squealed in delight.

Ralph's mom didn't pay any attention to the rude comment. The only thing she said was, "After the mess is cleaned up and this baby - Vanellope - is cleaned up, I want you to explain all ...this... to me. Understand?"

Ralph gulped under her glaring stare. He could tell she was mad that not only had her son "made" a huge mess, but she was also furious that she wasn't having any "grandbabies."

"I'm going to give her bath, now."

"Oh, Mom, you really don't have to. You're my guest-"

"Nonsense," she waved her hand and walked down the hall. "A man, like yourself, shouldn't be looking at a young lady's private parts." Then she entered the bathroom.

* * *

After having Ralph show her the contract and explaining everything, his mother sighed. "I guess, I will never have any grandchildren, will I?"

"Oh, Mom, don't say that. You never know what the future may hold."

She smirked. "I taught you that line."

Their conversation was interrupted by Vanellope's yawn. Under two adult's watchful eye, it was almost impossible for the baby to get into any serious trouble. Sure, Vanellope threw a huge tantrum about a broken vase and screamed at everyone who came near her, but Ralph relatively took care it...

She was now changed into more of a girlish outfit, with a pink tee shirt with a heart on it, and bright purpled shorts. Where his mother got those clothing without even stepping out of the house was beyond Ralph. Her only reply when Ralph had asked was a wink.

"Time for you to go to bed now." Ralph picked Vanellope up and carried her to her room. His mother followed closely behind him. He laid her on her small, tiny bed and tucked her in. "Good night, Vanellope."

"No," she whined.

"You have to go to bed, Vanellope."

"No." She protested. Her eyes started to water. Apparently, she had begun to feel guilty about her tantrum from earlier. She tiredly climbed onto Ralph's lap.

He sighed. He opened his mouth and did the most unexpected thing. He sang.

_Golden slumbers kiss you eyes,_

_Smiles await you when you rise._

_Sleep,_

_Pretty baby,_

_Do not cry,_

_And I will sing you a lullaby._

_..._

_Cares you know not,_

_Therefore you will sleep,_

_While over you, watch I'll keep._

_Sleep,_

_Pretty darling,_

_Do not cry,_

_And I will sing you a lullaby._

_..._

_Golden slumbers kiss you eyes,_

_Smiles await you when you rise._

_Sleep,_

_Pretty baby,_

_Do not cry,_

_And I will sing you a lullaby._ **(Can anyone guess where I got this song from WITHOUT looking it up?)**

Ralph sighed as he finally finished his lullaby. In his lap lay baby Vanellope, sound asleep. He gently picked her up and lay her on the mattress and tucked the blankets around her small frame. She instinctively cuddled her teddy bear and sucked her thumb.

Ralph and his mother stood in the doorway.

"I used to sing that song to you almost every night to get you to fall asleep," his mom sighed. "Oh, the good old days."

"Yep," was all Ralph said, even though those "good old days" were actually memories that had been programmed into them.

They stayed there for several more seconds before Ralph finally shut the door. He yawned. "Good night."

"I better get going," she said.

"Mom, you know you can stay here-"

"No, I better get going."

"Mom,-"

"No, there is no way I'm sleeping in this messiness that you call home. I _can_ tell from all the dirt, that you haven't vacuumed in over a month!"

Ralph smiled, sheepishly.

"I'll be going now. Bye, Ralph, you would make a great father."

After all the hugs and kisses, Ralph watched his mother walk out the door. Taking a wet cloth, he wiped away his mother's lipstick, from her gigantic kisses, from his cheek before going to bed.

* * *

**BTW, this chapter... obvious foreshadow!**

**If I haven't gotten to your requests, BE PATIENT! I do have a life outside too.**

**Review! :)**


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